Liar, liar, pants on fire
Lies. Everyone tells them. Little white ones or big, fat fibs. Sometimes it’s justifiable but not when it’s going to cause hurt and pain to those involved.
This past week hasn’t treated me well. I’ve been crying most nights and people at work have noticed I don’t look my usual self. The moment they asked, I had to hold back the tears and pretend everything was OK. It’s not the time of the month either so I can’t blame feeling fragile over that. I am just trying to make sense of why people I care about lie to me unnecessarily.
People who tell me they’re my friend have lied to me and the pain from it is horrible. The truth comes out sooner or later so they are the foolish ones but I feel foolish for believing in them. Do they think I’m a mug? Am I too soft and nice? Are they so used to fibbing to everyone that they are immune to others’ feelings? Clearly they don’t feel the same way as I do about them or they wouldn’t dream of hurting me in this way. I also feel like our friendship is false because I can’t distinguish the truth from the lies. Unless I’m told pigs can fly, I’ll pretty much give anyone the benefit of the doubt.
I wish I didn’t have a caring bone in my body but stupidly I do. Most people can walk away from this and never look back. I, on the other hand, just freeze on the spot, not knowing what to do next other than sob endlessly. Unfortunately this isn’t something new as people I thought I could trust have deceived me. You’d think I’d have wised up by now.
Being truthful doesn’t cost anything yet people treat it like it’s an expense of some kind. Unless you’re at the receiving end, you won’t realise just how awful the consequences are to deal with.
I know exactly what you mean. I have wasted years of my life being a good and loyal friend to people who turned out to be nothing but selfish bastards. Then exhausting myself with regret, anger, frustraition and much heart ache.
People will tell you to get over it and move on – which is much easier said than done, even though you know they’re right. Dewling on it will only eat you up from the inside.
Dump the frenimies and try not to waste another thought on them.
Helen
July 7, 2009 at 5:20 pm
I hate being upset at work and the worst part is when you’re just getting it together,then someone shows you a bit of sympathy, and whooosh, on come the tears again.
Hope you’re ok xx
xhelenx
July 8, 2009 at 9:38 am