Sheenie’s Blog

…since I’ve posted a blog but fear not, thoughts are bubbling away.  I have been blogging on another site – one which I share with a lovely lady called Helen who shares my dislike of the Apprentice candidates and has had her fair share of run-ins with shit celebrities (see the group on  Facebook!)  If you’re a girl and you like all things girlie, you will love this blog.

Now if you don’t mind, I need to get some shut eye before a 5am wake-up call for a flight to the south of France.  Ooh!  Get me, why don’t you?

Just go to the changing rooms at my gym.  Here you will find women parading around starkers, whether they’re liberally applying body lotion on their bits or leaving a pile of clothes on the spot they’re standing on before dashing to the shower.

I’ve been going to the gym for the past five weeks.  I swim twice a week, almost pass out from spinning every Monday night and begrudgingly do a few exercises on the gym floor.  I pay twice as much as I used to at the leisure centre I used to go to for I am guaranteed exceptional quality of facilities and service of the grovelling kind.  I don’t pay to see wobbly bits and overgrown lady gardens in my eyeline.

No place is deemed ‘naked flesh free’  as I’ve discovered (apart from the mixed Jacuzzi and sauna) .  I’ve been trapped in the steam room with a woman who removed her towel from around her waist (but kept the one wrapped around her head) and I’ve had to shuffle away from another who was getting changed too close next to my locker by bending over.

But one place I thought stood no chance of indecent exposure was when I went to blow-dry my hair after I’d got dressed and packed my bags.  There was a woman in her 40s, perched on a stool in her bathrobe, applying her make-up. Very badly.  I began to blast hot air down the hair shaft of my locks (very important, ladies) and seconds later, she slipped out of her bathrobe and sat in front of the mirror topless (but not bottomless – I suppose that was one saving grace).  Bear in mind there are wall-to-wall mirrors in this part of the changing rooms so her rack was reflecting off all of them.  I mean, how rude!  And how disgusting!  Did she think she was the star in a saucy peep show?  Then she started to rub lotion reeking of a strong pungent smell into her baps and frequently turned to look in my direction as if I was spying on her!  Go on, call me a prude but some things should remain sacred.  In this case, the public ought to be protected against such disturbing sights.

Unfortunately the women who choose to flaunt their flesh are precisely the kind of women who shouldn’t.  It would also seem a lot haven’t heard of a bikini wax.  One of these days, I am going to drop my towel in protest.